Once you find “the one,” you just know. The feeling is a comfort and security you’ve never felt before. You’ll live with a newfound purpose, set out to become a better person, and put your partner’s needs before your own.
When you’re crazy in love, you can’t help but think about the future. It’s natural to paint a picture in your mind of a beautiful life with your person — the person who you’re meant to spend forever with.
However, relationships aren’t always sunshine and roses. There will be many roadblocks, detours, and times of adversity along the way.
Do you think you’re with “the one”? Before taking the next step in your relationship — whether moving in together or getting engaged — ask yourself these 8 tough questions.
Can I See Myself Growing Old with My Partner?
Marriage is a promise of forever. You’ll spend your entire life with this one person and hopefully grow old together, so think about whether you can see yourself with your partner in 20 years, 40 years, and so on. If you’re with a man, will you still be attracted to him if he goes bald? Just kidding. Maybe.
Will My Person Be a Partner, Not Just a Husband or Wife?
Maintaining a home is hard effing work. We can’t do it all, so think about how you and your partner will approach cooking, cleaning, and more. Marriage is a partnership and the input from both sides has to be 50/50.
Will My Partner Do Things to Keep the Spark Alive?
The little things are the big things. A simple “you look hot” text from across the room and flowers “just because” go a long way. Does your partner do the little things to make you happy? If not, is it something he or she is willing to work on?
Sometimes our partners just need to be reminded that the little things are the most meaningful.
What If One of Us Doesn’t Want Children?
In today’s society, waiting to have children or not having children at all is becoming the norm. Do you and your partner agree on plans for starting a family? If not, is there a compromise?
If you already know you both want children, talk to your partner about your preferred parenting style. Will you be strict parents? Laid-back parents? Somewhere in between? Will he or she help you raise respectful boys and fearless girls?
Will My Partner’s Career Help Provide for Us and a Family?
Life is expensive and the bills multiply like rabbits, especially if you start a family. As scary as it is to recognize, many divorces happen because of financial problems. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to let my relationship take a turn for the worse because of an issue that can be avoided.
As you think about whether he or she is “the one,” think about a financial plan and both of your careers. Does your partner work in an industry that will allow for career advancement, therefore increasing income over time? Are you willing to ask for a raise or take on a side hustle if your lifestyle requires extra income?
Will My Partner Handle Setbacks with Grace?
A lot can happen in a lifetime and the future is full of uncertainty. How will you and your partner handle potential setbacks, like layoffs or health problems?
Everyone deals with the tough stuff differently and how they do so is a reflection of their character. Think about whether your partner will react to setbacks with grace and humility or outrage and frustration.
Do We Have the Same Relationship Values?
Every relationship is different, but all relationships require values like constant communication and trust. Talk to your partner about your relationship’s values and hold each other accountable. If the person you’re with is really “the one,” he or she will continuously work on the values you’ve set together.
Will My Partner Support My Dreams?
As you grow in your career or start a family, your dreams may change. You are meant to evolve and become the best version of yourself. That said, consider whether your partner will support your dreams and help you reach them.
Maybe you want to become President. Maybe you want to quit your job and see the world. To each their own! Just make sure the person you’re doing life with is always on your side.